First of all, I apologize for the delay in posts. I only have 4 followers, one of which is myself, so I feel like my recent lapse is somewhat excusable. After all, I'm only letting down myself and my 3 closest friends (one of which is ex-boyfriend). I have a really good excuse, too: I was moving into my new apartment (yay!), work has been busy (also good), and then I spent my summer vacation at pony camp (true story). I have many stories from this past month that I promise to blog about, but I've decided to grace you with a quick note.
I have never once referred to myself as a nice, or even optimistic person. Yesterday my co-worker referred to me as "deceptively nice." He explained it as this: apparently I deceive people into thinking I'm an optimistic, nice person. Then, once they get to know me, they realize I'm a huge cynic and I bring them down with me in a spiral of hatred and judgment. Wow, that really makes me feel awesome about myself. I mean, I try to be a nice person, but it's kind of exhausting. I would really like to be one of those selfless, generous people, but I'm pretty sure that a combination of my genetics, chemical imbalance and childhood upbringing prevent me from actually achieving that.
Roommate is actually one of those really nice people. If you are sick, she makes you soup and gets you a card. She even wanted to bake cookies and introduce ourselves to our new neighbors. Me? If you are sick, I tell you to cover your mouth when you cough and I spray everything you've touched with Lysol. I think I also ate said baked goods and still have only managed to remember the name of our neighbor's dog. (And that is only because our neighbor introduced me to her dog and she has his name written on her door.) .
I'm also the person that when someone is running for the elevator I oftentimes press "Door Close" instead of "Door Open". Truth be told, I hate riding in elevators with people. 9 times out of 10 my fellow passengers are an unfortunate combination of smokers and loud cell phone talkers. They will often look at their phones in anger/confusion when their call gets dropped somewhere between the 20th and 23rd floors. I, in turn, then look at them and give them the evil stare.
You see? I'm not so nice
Anyway, one of my friends posted this link on her gchat message:
http://www.givesmehope.com/
The site is "GivesMeHope- FML for optimists!" and I encourage you to check it out.
Aside from the exclamation point that annoys me for some unknown reason, I really appreciate the site and its message. It has become my latest guilty pleasure.
I admit it- for as cynical as I am, I do love cheesy things. I love Delilah After Dark- the radio show (7pm-12am) where people call in and dedicate love songs to one another. Delilah has a knack for picking the perfect song, even though she does seem to circulate between the same top 25 love songs no matter whether your father abused you or if you met the love of your life in line at Wal-Mart. I also love chick flicks and I tend to cry whenever there is some type of nostalgic montage on TV, ESPECIALLY if it includes an animal. And, now, GMH has given me a new outlet that causes me to tear up while at my cube.
How many times have you heard someone say something to the effect of "Stuck in traffic. FML"? I am guilty as charged. But, seriously, we all have a lot to be grateful for. Even though this year hasn't been the best year for me, I'm still thankful for everything that I do have. I'm thankful for my friends, my 3 blog followers, my family, my job, and my health. I am thankful everytime I get to enjoy riding Mick and I'm thankful that I was blessed to have Gerry Berry in my life for 11+ years.
So, see people? I do have a heart! Maybe my co-worker was wrong. Maybe I'm deceptively cynical? Because deep down, I do think I'm kind of nice.
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